Faith no More: “Epic” was in some iTunes playlist you made six years ago and you have no idea how it got there
Mr. Bungle: You’re taking bass lessons from a guy in his 40s that smokes a lot of weed
Fantomas: Mr. Bungle isn’t cutting it for you anymore so you’ve moved on to something weirder
Tomahawk: There’s a set of handcuffs in the “kink drawer” of your nightstand that you’ve yet to actually use
Lovage: You’ve asked your dentist for a gold tooth more than once
Peeping Tom: Your dentist finally agreed to give you a gold tooth and now you can’t stop grinning
Moonchild Trio: You once got a tarot reading while high and it CHANGED YOUR LIFE
Mondo Cane: You can’t speak Italian but you like singing in vaguely Italian gibberish anyway
Nevermen: You’re an aging hipster who’s secretly proud that you lost your virginity to a Mr. Bungle song
Dead Cross: You really liked that one Dillinger Escape Plan EP and this is close enough to it
Kadaa/Patton: You are in vital need of a hug, STRONGLY believe in ghosts, and want a pet tarantula but are worried it would make you too sad to know your spider was incapable of love.
